lost + found
finding those old school love letters
lost + found
Inside one of the attic boxes from my folks spot they dropped off before they moved I found love letters inside The residue of what was + what could have been I miss old school love letters Typed on a typewriter, handwritten, multiple pages with mix cds left on my doorstep, or on the windshield of my car with some flowers Sent to me the first time I left home as a camp counselor, or alongside the lunch, or treat he made me And almost all of these letters didn’t come from a boyfriend The guys of the past tried a lot harder than wyd? texts Something about the effort, the thoughtfulness, the surprise Something about the declaration actually written down pen to paper thoughts into reality hopes into leaps words that could exist beyond a text message I didn’t realize then that the surprise of them would dissipate And the words could disappear as easily they were written And they would become fewer In the words used In the sentences into abbreviations Into literally three letters Something felt lost + maybe found Love letters that still might actually exist Even now The love letter I am still writing for this city That raised not just me but three generations before She still teaches me so much and her views up those hills are like the only things that matter The cards upon cards I have from so many people saying they love me All types of love The words actually mean something as I read them again
The lines keeping the beats The drive in + out in between the lines Inclines of this city where love + hope + memories still exist even if I feel it again for just a moment the Polaroid shake (if ya know ya know) The car window is down and the wind is saying hello over and over Again The pedals of the bike legs rising up again A complicated choreography that takes each of us some time to get Into the moment you don't need to pedal The hill caresses you with the peace of moving without trying The toes upon the pavement as I walk + run they whisper Maybe I haven’t lost them
I found another letter inside my journal that I had written when doing some 1-1 work with a coach- "I give you an A for. . ." Dear Kate, I give you an A for believing in both the possible + impossible as you sometimes wait longer than maybe you think you should For finding a way to still keep hope inside bones even the broken ones or ones still healing For choosing you + your healing even though it might feel like solitude too long For trying to build a space you haven’t in between the light + dark Not just for you but everyone For befriending the fire within you The anxiety they told you was wrong Is your guide An A for everyday you laced up + chased the view or moment For trying again over +over again + then over and over again And still trying Love, Me Love letters exist beyond the lines of this cardboard - not holding them in anymore The passage of folklore, plays, books, films have not captured the fullness of love In a letter In a life <3 <3 <3
